Thursday, January 29, 2009

Match neutering rampage of love

What's the worst thing that can happen to a young henchman on the go? When that henchman's girlfriend escapes from prison.

Fury, a clone made from Wonder Girl that the Agenda thought they were rewarding me with. I'll have my revenge one day. “We’re going to have along talk..." She starts.

“If it's about me hitting on other girls disguised as Superboy..."

“What? I don't give a damn about that anyone you seduce we can use for our own pleasure, then discard them. No you've been fouling up in the competition bringing a bad name to the Agenda. Now come on we're going to neuter some super pets!"

Why not she's been busting my balls ever since she got out of the bacta tank. We jump on the hover bike, we fly over to Titan's Tower, and are ready to snip Krypto when Kon-El catches us.

“We have Krypto! And there is no way you're gonna stop us from cutting off his family jewels !" I gloat.

" Go Ahead. That mongrel humped Starfire's leg and got me in trouble here lemme hold 'em for ya."

Me, and Fury looked at each other “this is no fun if he's just going to let us" I groan

“I know let's go."

It took us a while to find a new target. The X-men's pet Wolverine.

Fury tried seducing as pretending to be Wonder Girl but unlike Colossus he doesn't like them young. Well not illegal young anyway so we spiked his beers with enough Cyanide to kill a herd of elephants. That didn't do anything. Damn healing factor

We got sick of being subtle and beat the crap out of him then snipped the bastard. When we get back to the hotel Henchy says. “While fuzzball is funny he don't count as a pet. sorry you're going to have to go for another one.

Next stop was Gotham City. it was easy to snip Ace the Bathound while the Batkids were fighting the battle for who got to be Batman. Just for the hell of it we also de balled the Joker's hyenas, fury got a little carried away and snipped the Joker himself.

" Why so serious freak!" She screams as he howls on the ground only to be dragged out by that clown girl Harley something.

When we get back we're told that’s still not right since Ace is technically not "super". So i do what most of us do when I can't find something. I call the Calculator the supervillian, ( and henchman) 411.

He directs us to the Pet Care Spa of Justice in Happy Harbor. It’s guarded by the Super friends kids they’d be easy to defeat, a six year old with a slingshot can and probably has defeated them.

the place might as well not be have been guarded, the Wonder Twins were well being disgusting.

Marvin and Wendy weren’t even a fight. So we hit the mother load of superpets. Gleek the space monkey.

These man eating kittens.

Those must be the Punisher's.

A Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle


Supergirl's creepy horse that turns into a guy and tries to sleep with her.

Guess he won't be doing that anymore, and finally Marvin.

That was mostly because Fury didn't want there to be a chance of him reproducing, not that he really had all that much of a chance to begin with. I personally think Fury just likes using the blades on testacles. I'm frankly a little scared. Especially since her technique is to grab on and pull 'em with her hands not the scalpel. Think I'll sleep with my eyes open from now on.


Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

WEll, you got a lot of 'em at least...

Henchman432 said...

Hardcore. Think you might want to watch out for Wolverine. It will grow back but he be pissed.

captain koma said...


Totally gross.