Monday, January 12, 2009

Match: Dragon Dragon Dragon! Rock the Dragon Ball

While everyone else was laughing about stealing balls from a dragon I went ahead, and started searching. I already know what they are marbles that call a magical dragon to grant two wishes.

Why more of us so called "bad guys" don't get them to grant our wish is that they are hunted for mostly by Saiyans a race that's oddly similar to us Kryptonians, well except for the color changing hair, and turning into big monkeys.

Whatever I think I'm tough enough to take one on. I'm a clone of Kon-El with powers he'll never obtain. If that dunce can beat a saiyan so can I.

So I fly following the ding on this radar, and oddly the D-ball was on an island half way between California, and Japan. The air here was hot, sickly hot it was hard to breathe, and mountains were about the only things that broke up the sand well that and dinosaurs, lots and lots of dinosaurs.

After my mind processed that I punched my way through a bunch of them. Then all of the sudden something hits me hard enough to throw me through a mountain. As I dig myself out I notice my mouth and nose are bleeding.

No way an overgrown lizard has that kind of power. I find out how right I am when I see a girl that looks like she's about my age athletic figure bluish hair, a tail all in a tight fitting Green Lantern outfit.

"Hello princess of saiyans." I grin.

“I don't know what you want that Dragon Ball for, but you’re not getting it."

“Would you believe that I want it for a game show?" I ask.

“No." She replies flatly.

“Thought not." I shrug and fire my heat vision. She blocks it with a green shield. We fight for a little while until her turns all gold. I was programmed with several styles of martial arts when I was cloned, and had the little chick on the ropes but the craziest thing happened when she transformed, her skills became greater as well.

She kept transforming until she was stronger, faster, and a better fighter than I leaving me flat on my ass, by a girl barely over 5'9 this is embarrassing. When I use my TTK to throw rubble at her, I get trounced with a bunch of ring constructs that look like cartoon characters. Oh and of course my yellow costume does nothing to them now. Ugh this is the worst day ever.

“What did I ever do you Vella?" I yell.

“You tried to kill my boyfriend that time!" She shrieks.

“Oh yeah that failed clone Cadmus made. Didn't he die anyway? Aren’t you slumming with the Jan Brady of the Bat Family now?"

That gets me beaten with a giant green glowing mallet.

Okay new plan. I bend the light around us making it flash in her eyes, and then I fly off a few feet. Then bend the light around me making go from this.

To this.

How the hell does he wear jeans that tight without cutting off circulation to certain parts?

Now I just have to hope her naiveté beats out her book smarts.
“Hey Conner what are you doing here?"

Okay have to make this convincing. “Hey sweet thang just scopin' out the scene because I was totally having a smack down with Match. And he brilliantly dodged me and got away."

“He ran from me with his tail between his legs." She laughed. While I clenched my fists. “I was looking for the Dragonballs to bring Inertia back then I ran into him when I catch him he's so going back to the Vault."

Good thing I came for the Dragonball then no way do I want that treacherous speedster back among the living. Also, no way am I going back to the Vault. I just escaped. She looks at me as if deciding to ask me something then goes.

“On LGS three after we drank that stuff Wonder Girl says she didn't drink any and that nothing happened except you hit on a plant is that true?"

Sounds like that idiot. He probably thinks he scored while kissing some kind of tree. I took this opportunity to say that Wonder Girl was lying, and I say she did every sick twisted demented thing I could think of for two people to do together.

She starts crying. Hahhahahahaha! And while she's blubbering I fly back to the site of or battle, and get the Dragon ball. Ha! Perfect I make the little Princess think she's a super pervert, and make her believe that Superboy stole the Dragonball. And hopefully driven a wedge between Conner, and Wonder Girl. I love it when things workout now back to show with my prize.


Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Har har, I don't know if making wimmin cry is part of the job description, but it's a nice perk.

Henchman432 said...

Not bad, you should of groped her.

Nepharia said...

It wasn't that you made her cry, but that she thought it was Conner making her cry: break her heart AND making her cry -- good going.

Cyclops said...

They're just marbles? Well that should be easy enough. I'd really piss of Kitty if I had to dismember Lockheed.

captain koma said...


Gyrobo said...

I enjoy it when people use the word "thang."

It livens thangs up.