Cyclops, the Baby-Sitter

"Come on, Gustavo! Baby-sitting?? I can't do that!"

"And why is that, Mr. Cyclops?"

"Because I hate kids! Professor Xavier has a whole bunch of them running around the mansion all the time. Those little turds are always eating all my cookies and peeing in the pool. I can't stand them!"

"I'm sorry, sir, but the challenge has been set for this round. There is no alternate. This is not that Amazing Race show you mutants do."

"Well this sucks. Where's Doom? Maybe I can talk some sense into him."

"The Master has already departed. Shall I tell him you forfeit?"

" . . .(sigh) . . . no. Fine. I'll do it. But I'm not going in the pool with him. Where is he?"

"Actually the Master has several heirs, just in case. The others have already been spoken for. The only one left is there . . . in that room."

"Alright, let's see who I'm stuck - AAAGGHHHHH!!!!"

"Hey! What's with the crazy glasses, Four Eyes? Are they like X-Ray specs or somethin'? Can you like see through babes' clothes? Heh heh heh. That would be pretty hot, man."

"George Bush? I have to babysit George Bush? Aren't you, like, 60 or something?"

"Hey man, you are only as young as your feelers, you know what I mean?"

"Er, no. Say, where did Gustavo go?"

"It's just your and me, Four Eyes. Mano a mano. Just like me an Sadam Whosey-whats-it. Man, I kicked that guys ass. That sure felt good. I got the video here on my Ipod. You want to check it out?"

"No."

"Ooh, then let's watch Sponge Boob. I love that show. I got 'em all on Blue-Ray. That Patrick just cracks me up. Reminds me of myself."

Uh, no thanks. Let's go out for a little trip. I'll bring a camera and take some pictures."

"That sounds great! Let's go to Hooters. I love their chili cheese fries."

So I took Bush out to see some sights -

First I took Bush to the Latverian Burger King. He just loved that paper crown. He told me he collects them.

Bush ate like four hot cherry pies. He cried like a little girl when I told him he couldn't have anymore.

In the parking lot some creepy old guy tried to lure Bush into his limo. He said he could have a puppy if he came with him. I let them make out for a few minutes and then pulled Bush away.

I told Bush he had to give the puppy back but he gave me the finger.

I took Bush back to Doom's castle. He was still on such a sugar high that he fell out of the car.

Bush ran straight to Doom's laboratory and started throwing switches on an experimental device. It took an hour to get him back to "normal".

I told Bush it was nap time and he gave me the finger.

I blasted the turd into powder. Just then, Doom returned.

"Where is my heir?" he roared at me, his voice coursing with anger.

"Uh, well it's like this Doom. I was talking to Bush and he told me that, uh, he was actually part of a, um, plot to, uh, kill you. Yeah, that's it. He was an assassin! So I blasted him."

"Oh. Well done then, Cyclops."