Sunday, March 1, 2009

Escape from Superjail

Okay we're breaking out some shape shifting lizards. The getting in will be easy. Fury will pretend to be Wonder girl turning me in. Unfortunately that meant Fury wearing Wondergirl's new stupid costume.

“Damn it! How does that bimbo move her arms with this chest plate thing?”

“Very carefully." I respond.

“Ha-ha! Let's go to phase 2.

Phase 2 is stealing a Titans Jet from the Tower to make this look all legit. That was easier then it should have been. When we go to the Tower, they were all whining so much over some emo crap they didn't even notice us. And the security system is a joke, I didn't even need any powers to break in, in fact I didn't need to break in I walked in. No wonder Titans die so often.

So we fly out to the Raft. Getting in was the easy part. I was in Inhibitor Cuffs. And as I'm being carted away to a cell the Warden hits on Fury who talks like this now. “Golly! That'd be ever so swell sir!"

Ugh. I don't know what she thinks Wonder Girl sounds like but she was talking like Miss Martian, and Vella fused, and on crack. Not that it mattered apparently an18 year old blondes can be able to be as corny as they like.

Meanwhile the guards decided to get special with me. “Hey let's beat this albino Clone! He he He's not so tough now that he don't have all hen fancy powers!"

“He thinks he can kill prison guards at the Vault, and get away. Well he's got another thing comin’." Another one drawls.

I grin, " Not only do I think I can kill a few there, but all of you morons as well I let the cuffs fall off my wrists.” They weren't on." After breaking all of them in half I make my way to the Warden's Office

I half expected to find Fury actually canoodling the guy. But instead she broke the guy's back." “Hmph at least you didn't screw him." I growl.

“Aw are you jealous that's so hot!" We ended up making out right in front of the paralyzed warden Fury's butt hit a few switches as we rolled around, and most of the prisoners were let out.

oddly A song by Tenacious D somehow got played over the intercom but just one verse over, and over " We're gonna f'ing riot! Riot!"

After me, and Fury were finished with each other look up were the Skrulls are kept. Of course it wasn't with the rest of prisoners. They were held in a different wing all together.

Getting there was pretty easy the blended in with the bodies of everyone fighting it out. I disguised my self, as Superboy, as Fury tried to talk our way into seeing the Skrulls.

I was trying to figure out why these guards weren't trying to wrangle the other super villains like the others I guess they were just you know assigned to guard the aliens , and only the aliens.

Something about Fury saying “golly, and gosh set me off, and I heat visioned all the guards.

“Oh that was smart." She gripes. "The Lock is a combination, lock, and the door is Adamantium."
I tear it open. And let her think for a few minutes I'm that strong then say. “That door is secondary Adamantium easier to break, and much cheaper heh. Your tax dollars at work."

We free several cells worth of the aliens, and get ready to go. Now here's the thing about the guards at these super powered jails the reason they're here is because they flunked out of SHEILD. In fact a lot of these guys have flunked kindergarten. This is why even the dumbest villain can escape.

We all went out disguised as a clown parade, after they rounded up the slower prisoners who haven't escaped yet.

After we had already gotten, to the T Jet I heard “Hey wait a minute Clown parade!!!"

The Jet was damaged in the riot. So we could only make it to New York which was crawling with superheroes Okay you guys take the forms of the Teen Titans I instruct

I wish I had been more specific. They turned into this.

Of course before I could explain what was wrong with that. A group of heroes shows up. Iron Man looks over the Toon Titans. "Man what kind of drugs have they been taken?"

“Tis sad too see such noble youths taken by vice." Yes this coming from the biggest drunken womanizers the Avengers have ever seen.

Wolverine sniffs me “Match! Ya son of a- It’s payback time fer snippin' me bub."

How can he tell any difference between me, and Superboy? Any way I yell. “Skrull!" And point at the midget.

Thor looks him over. “Yes that would explain why he's in every team at once."

“Look Bub Marvel just thinks I sale comics is all." Wolverine brags.

"And you are saying the God of Thunder does not?" Thor bellows.

“How many times has yer book been canceled goldilocks?"

“Have at Thee!" Thor yells attacking.

While all the heroes get into the fight we make our escape. You know I believe superheroes want any excuse to fight one another. We got to the AIM base, and the transporter without further incident, well except Fury heart her arms when she tried to stretch her arms over her head.


captain koma said...

Not bad Match. You have improved outstandingly from your first failures.

However your tendancy to drag on without anything happening did creep in there.

Mr. Bennet said...

In the words of Jon, chips and dip! Chips and dip!

Gyrobo said...

I will forever associate Tenacious D with clown parades.