Showing posts with label Match. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Match. Show all posts

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Match: Search for a Master.

Me and Fury weren't too thrilled with this challenge we were expecting losers to show up for this, and that became a self fulfilling prophecy. First one we had to interview for a Master Of Evil Position was the "Fabulous" Fanboy.

he kept droning on, and on, for the first thirty minutes." You know Match you were cooler as a Bizarro. And it's funny how Wonder Girl keeps kicking your butt Fury. Who cloned you guys a fifth grade science class? It was funny when you got beat by Batgirl and not even the red head with the nice ta tas."

After he started telling us who'd win between us, and some transformers in a fight Fury snapped. “I can't take it anymore!" She grabbed his arm.

“I don't believe it a woman is touching me I can't wait to tell the guys at the message boards!" That was before Fury tore his arm off, and beat him wih it. His last words were " I regret EVREYTHING!"

“Baby maybe we should refrain from killing them?" I ate my words with the next applicant. “AAAH! Man Faye!"

" Yes it is I ! Everyone forgot all about me! I'm going to remind them all of how gross I am!"

With my TTK I opened a hole in the ground beneath him that fell into the core of the Earth. I then freeze breathed the hole cooling the lava that spilled out, and sealing him in.

Fury looks at me smugly. “No killing huh?"

" Oh let’s get this over with ...

the next applicant was called " Skull Kill man." I didn't even need my X-ray vision to tell it was the Punisher wanting to go in, and kill the Masters of Evil I booted him out literally.

The next dude was well... Kite-Man all chomped up and well undead.

“I want to join..." He moaned.

" Let me get this straight..." I rub my temples you're just Kite-Man but now you're dumber, and slower because you're a zombie."

" YESSSS!!!!"

I break his head with my fist

Next one was well just look...



That turned out to be the Punisher ... Again.

The next few.. the Rhino, Moonstone, and Radioactive Man I just let in. Next up came Mankiller.

“Go right in " I say.

“Hey what about the Casting Couch!?" she yells.

I shrug. " Okay if you want."

She grabs Fury by the hair “Sweet! Come on little missie!" Huh. I guess that makes sense since she's "Man killer" And all I take a few pictures of the "Casting Couch" For um Black mail purposes only yeah that's right.

The next applicant... was well.




“Seriously Castle now you're not even trying!" I shake my head. " And you forgot the "n" in the first not."

"Don't laugh at me because I can't spell!" he cries running out the door.

In the next wannabe was Giganta Jr. it took all of a second to see through her disguise it was the Young Avenger "Stature."
She can grow but could couldn't match me in the power department . She was crying as I was about to end her life.

"I'll do anything please don't kill me!"

“Anything huh?" I grin.

So I spent the last hour "Corrupting the Innocent."

"That was much better than Vision." she sighed.

“Of course I’m a real man. Not a robot. Well that and TTK." I brag.

“She looks at me sexily " Wanna cuddle?"


“Cuddle? What do you think this is? A Barney show? Get dressed and get the frag out of here!"

She runs from the room bawling. Seems while me, and Fury were away having or fun The Punisher killed the last applicants not that it matters much it was just these guys.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Match :Challenge 2

You know this disguising myself as Super loser has somewhat paid off. I got this cheerleader's phone number who's been hanging around the hotel. That and got a real good look at her with X-ray Vision. I mean a really good look.

The problem was I was too distracted to hear the next assignment all I heard was Dr. Doom. Suh-Weet! The biggest bad guy on the planet. Or top five at least. I fly to Latveria hoping to make a good impression.

At Castle Doom I'm greeted by some old guy named Boris. "You're one of those from that Henchman show? The master is waiting for you."

We walk down this long corridor, until he opens up this door and instead of Doom I get this.

"What the? A kid?" I yell.

“Yes you are to take care of young Kristoff, and be sure he does not get into too much mischief while Dr. Doom is gone. Good day Mr. Match is it?"

"Yeah" I say before I turn around, and find the brat is already gone. I find him in the Doom-Bot control room. As I open the door I'm attacked by Doom bots, and some of them have Kryptonite.

I barely get out, after crushing the lot of them. I'm bleeding, and sore, and one of the Doom bots kept calling me a "fat cow" man that one must have really been malfunctioning.

I don't want to explain this one to Doom So I throw all the Doom-bot parts into the Time Machine it's not like it can cause any problems in the past right?

“Conquer for Doom!"

After flying around the castle I find him with a devolving ray turning all of the servants into apes.

By this time I had more than enough. “Okay you little brat, you're going back to your room, and you're doing it this second!"

“You can't make me clone!" he takes a green rock out of his pocket how much Green K does Doom have? Funny thing about Kryptonite, you have to be pretty close for it to work.

This kid was on the other side of one of those comically large tables you see in rich people dining rooms on sitcoms. Not close enough for me to even feel a tingle. I reached out with my Tactile Telekinesis, and grabbed the kid as on as he hit the floor.

“What? I'm stuck what happened?" he screams as I push the rock away from his hand. At this moment I get an idea. With a little Super Ventriloquism I make a scary voice come out of the wall. “I’m the Boogey man and I gobble up bad little boys! If you don't mind you will be next!"

The kid screams and runs back into his room hiding under his bed. He didn't move since in fact I even took a nap, and he was still there. When Doom came back he was surprised that Kristoff was quiet for once.

“I would give you a bonus but Doom is afraid that your fee will go to replacing all the doom -bots you and young Kristoff destroyed."

Aw#@%$%%%